


Lame Excuses

by southview



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8806786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southview/pseuds/southview
Summary: When Nino tried his best to make some lame excuses and Jun is definitely not amused.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stumblestiltskin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stumblestiltskin/gifts).



> For lovelybutter (stumblestiltskin)'s birthday.

“Kazu, where is my favorite bonsai? I remembered that I left it somewhere… _here_.”  
  
When he heard Jun’s voice in the living room, _oh shit_ was the first thing in Ninomiya Kazunari’s thought. He knew that this is going to happen but he didn’t think that his boyfriend, Matsumoto Jun would figure out that soon. Good thing he was still in his bedroom when Jun arrived home from work. He had time to think of amazing plan to escape from Jun— _or maybe it was the other way around._  
  
“Kazu!”  
  
After five minutes of scribbling and muttering some swearing words, he thought of some excuses to get away from his boyfriend.  
  
 **Plan A: _Pretend that you’re deaf!_**  
  
Nino felt that the great Plan A will surely worked. Jun would not disturb him, he was sure of it! He put his headphone on and listened to Pikotaro’s Pen-Pinapple-Apple-Pen.  
  
“Kazu!” Jun shouted as he opened his boyfriend’s bedroom door.  
  
“ _I have a pen~ I have an apple~ Apple pen!_ ” Nino hummed.  
  
 _Yes yes yes, Jun will just gonna leave me and that’s the end of the story!_ But _boy_ , he was wrong. Jun took the headphone away from him and sat next to him with a serious face.  
  
Nino looked at Jun, pretended to be annoyed. “What the heck, Jun?!”  
  
Jun sighed. “I’ve been calling for thousand of times and here you are! Now, tell me. Where is my favorite bonsai, _darling_?”  
  
Plan A was totally failed, unexpectedly. He still have his Plan B! Ninomiya Kazunari won’t give up on this, _not just yet_!  
  
 **Plan B: _Pretend to be busy!_**  
  
“Junpon, can’t you see that I’m busy right now?” Nino growled while pointing his desktop. Thank goodness that his computer showed a work-related document, it would be troublesome if Jun finds out he was playing Fire Emblem the whole day.  
  
“Yeah, _right_. Like hell I would believe that, Kazu.”  
  
Nino argued, “I am really busy!”  
  
“Don’t lie, Kazunari. Now tell me, where did you hide my bonsai? I know that you feel jealous of it every single time I looked at them.”  
  
There was silence between them. Nino didn’t want confess. No, he will not lose and embarrass himself like this! He began to feel more and more uncomfortable as Jun looked at him with his sharp eyes.  
  
“If you don’t admit it right here and right now, no sex for a month,” threatened Jun, “I mean it, _my dear_ Kazu.”  
  
Nino gulped. No sex with Jun for a month? No big deal— _or maybe it is_? He just didn’t want to give up. He still had... The Plan C!  
  
 **Plan C: _Pretend that you don’t know!_**  
  
“Kazu, answer me.”  
  
Nino just looked at his boyfriend with an innocent look. “What, Jun?”  
  
“Where did you hide the bonsai?! Don’t test my patience!”  
  
“Bonsai? What is that again?”  
  
His boyfriend gripped Nino’s hand firmly and dragged him into bed. Jun was on top of him, which means Nino was _quite_ … powerless in this situation. Jun whispered to his ear softly, “If you think that you can get away by giving me these lame excuses, you’re _so_ wrong.”  
  
 **Plan D: _Just give up already, Ninomiya Kazunari._**  
  
Now, Nino quite pissed off with Jun’s behaviour. The taller guy never gave up—he used every single single tactics to make Nino confessed his dirty little act. From teasing to threatening. Name it and definitely, Jun had already done it to the point where Nino thought; _Okay, screw this because I will never win_. another thing is that the tall guy was on top of him—zilch chance for him to escape. He might just need to give up already.  
  
The shorter man muttered in a very, very low voice. “I…. _sold_ it.”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“I sold… _it_ ,” he whispered, “in the black market.”  
  
Jun gave his boyfriend a death glare. “What did you do to the poor _Toma-chan_?!”  
  
Nino’s eyes widen. _What the heck? He even named that weird-looking bonsai as Ikuta Toma_ , he thought. Somehow Nino felt kinda jealous. He blurted out, “You named that stupid bonsai after your boss?!”  
  
“Don’t you dare changing the subject, Ninomiya Kazunari. You sold Toma-chan in the black market?! _How dare you_!” Jun barked.  
  
Nino bit his lips and showed his new _Nitendo Switch_ that he hid in his drawer. As what he expected, he could see his boyfriend _almost_ blew up like a volcano. “I don’t care what or how you do it, I want you to find _Toma-chan_ and take it home in a good shape!”  
  
“What? Junpon, you know that I can’t afford that! I don’t even know where did—”  
  
“Then, you have no choice but to pay with your own body, Ninomiya Kazunari!”  
  
The poor guy tried to escape because he knew once his boyfriend said ‘pay with your own body’, it meant something different. No, it was not sex. It was a lot worse than what anybody would think of. Probably it would be best not to know what Jun did to Nino. After that incident, he couldn’t walk for the entire week.  
  
Everything started because he didn’t want to take his savings to buy the newest product of Nitendo and on top of that, he wanted to see Jun getting sad because of the disappearance of his favorite bonsai—More like, a chance for Nino to comfort Jun. He _surely_ forgot that Jun is more dominance than him and well, he treated the bonsai like his own brother. _Now Nino thinks that the bonsai is more important than him!_  
  
Well... In the end of the day, Ninomiya Kazunari swore to himself that he would never mess around with Matsumoto Jun’s property _ever again._

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted in iamnadegata@LJ.


End file.
